As I sort of predicted, Week 5 was ugly for me. The lines were brutal, and yet I drove straight into the eye of the storm. It didn't go too well. After a combined 8-1-1 record between Weeks 3 and 4, I came crashing back to earth with a rough 1-4 showing in Week 5 (thank you, Pittsburgh). This week's lines look similarly unforgiving, so I'm going to mix it up this week. In what might be the king of all bad decisions, here are my Week 6 winners.
Dallas +3 over Jacksonville
I'm going back to the well one more time on the Cowboys. These clowns are coming off a brutal OT loss to in-state rival Houston, with some of the most cowardly, pathetic, gutless coaching you will ever see from Jason Garrett sealing Dallas' fate. The way I see it, either the Cowboys compete in this game or Garrett finally gets canned, maybe on live television if Jerry can get down to midfield fast enough. Garrett is the Teflon Don of the NFC (Marvin Lewis reps the AFC quite proudly), so I think he holds on for one more week. The Cowboys are going to keep this close, so let me get these points.
Miami +3 over Chicago
The Bears are the talk of the NFL this year and appear to be far less fraudulent than the Dolphins. So why am I picking them? Well, Miami is a tough place to play early in the season, and with the Bears' generally limited offense, the suggestion of them being a 3 point road favorite over a not terrible team implies that they're elite. More specifically, it implies that they'd be 9 point favorites at home. Yeah, not buying that. I like Da Bears, but I like money more. Once again, I'll take the three.
Now we're going to get wild and crazy by making the goofiest bet I've made in my life.
10 point teaser:
Minnesota -0.5 over Arizona
Los Angeles Rams +3 over Denver
Green Bay +0.5 over San Francisco
Houston straight up over Buffalo
For those that are unfamiliar with teasers, it's a bet where I get to add points to a spread while counting on each game I bet on to hit. I've put up four times my normal bet amount on this game, so this will definitely be spicy. The Vikings are going to whoop the inept Cardinals, the Packers aren't going to struggle at home against a week 49ers team like they did against Detroit last week, The Rams are on the road and a little banged up, but playing a truly terrible Denver team and still catching 3, and Houston looks like they've figured things out and shouldn't have a hard time with the terrible Bills. We're getting frisky this week. I'm excited to see how this absurdity plays out.
Week 5 results: 1-4 (-2.1 units)
Overall: 13-11-1 (+.82 units)